Beginnning my fitness journey.....again

I've always been a bit yo-yo with dieting and health. I had an eating disorder of a kind when I was in high school and those poor thinking patterns quickly set in again every time I start thinking about weightloss and becoming healthier. I took some time out from the fitness journey a while back to make sure that my mind was in the right place and now, with my 25th birthday on the horizon, I've decided that this is the year I begin the journey back to a healthy lifestyle again.

There's a very careful balance to be had between setting a good example for your children of good body image and healthy living. I want to love my body and all that it does for me, and so in the same breath look after it. To begin with that means losing some of the weight that I've unlovingly piled on it, and breaking some of the poor habits that I've been practising. It's going to be a long, slow journey, but for once I'm not worried about the timing of it all.

Dieting for me normally looks like an unrealistic expectation of losing 3 stone in two weeks through excessive amounts of exercise and only eating celery. I'm not worried about that this time. I just want to enjoy my life and enable my body to do that a little more too (though I am also motivated by the beach holiday we have planned with our best friends). Fear is taking hold though.

This week I completed my free gym induction. I've been following the livewell plan, a local scheme that offers free nutrition courses, exercise classes and weigh in sessions. I've not lost anything (due to a 3 month break over the Christmas period), but have gone to enough sessions to claim a free membership to my council gyms. My advisor created a plan, he showed me how to use the equipment and now I just need to go.

I'm petrified.

I haven't 'done' anything for a while now. I haven't been to a gym class and the closest I've been to healthy eating is the odd piece of pineapple in my sweet and sour chinese take away. Things really need to change, but now that bad habits have set in I am absolutely bricking it. The person looking inwards knows I just need to go, but how do I even begin to motivate myself to squeeze back into my lycra and hit the weights (cause this girl aint running on no treadmill).

Well, I'm afraid I'm just going to have to do it. There isn't some method of 'thinking yourself into it'. There isn't a book I can read or a video I can watch that is going to magically make me thin. I've just got to grab hold of my discipline and do it. Take a deep breath and jump. I've spent a lot of time beating around the bush and shirking the issue but the reality is I just need to do it and hope that each time gets easier (and the lycra fits better).

So here we go. At half seven tonight I shall be hitting my local gym, on my own, in gym gear that barely fits and I'm going to get on that gym equipment with a false confidence until one day it becomes real. Wish me luck!


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