Sharing is caring
"You could just tell she was an amazing Mum, and she made me feel like an amazing Mum too"
I live for this.
If I could say I have a goal in life I think this would be it. In my pursuit to be better at my job, I want to make sure that I'm always encouraging, always supporting and never belittling.
It can be really hard as we work on improving things in our life, not to boast about stuff and let pride get in the way. If you've worked hard and saved up then why wouldn't you show off the car you've finally been able to buy? If you've lived in mess for months because you've been renovating the house then why wouldn't you show it off once work was completed? If your child has been doing excellently at school because you've been working really hard with them in the evenings, then why wouldn't you tell people? We love to share our highlights in life because we love the acceptance we receive. We love the feeling of people 'liking' us.
I hold my hands up to it. I jokingly told a friend that the reason I'd had so many children so close in age was because I loved hearing people call me 'super Mum', but there is definitely some truth in it! I get a glow when people tell me that I'm doing a good job, because this job is really important to me. We like to feel appreciated. We like to feel noticed. However, as I work on myself, getting slowly more organised, tidier, healthier, happier, I want to make sure that my 'sharing' isn't causing other people to feel rubbish about their lives.
This is where the balance in society needs to be. I see so many posts, especially around Christmas and birthdays, about not sharing everything because it makes other people feel awful. Whilst I agree to an extent, I think we also need to get better at being happy for other people. If you can't ever go to someone's clean home because you feel guilty about not cleaning your own, then the responsibility doesn't lie with the other person, it lies with you. If someone has worked hard and earned lots of money to be able to provide a nice life for their family, then it's not up to them to give it all away, but up to you to work hard, save well and try and do the same. In layman's terms, we need to be mindful not to boast in order to put others down, but we also need to learn to be happy for other people's successes.
I want to make sure that as I try to be the best Mum possible, and as I share that journey with others, that I'm doing it with the right intentions. That my heart is to encourage others and support others and simply be honest about what motherhood entails. I want to make sure that when I'm sharing something there is no ounce of trying to be better than others. We're all in this together. There is no need for the division. As I scroll through facebook, or instagram, or twitter, I want to make sure I'm looking with the eyes of a proud friend, happy for others' successes and motivated to pursue my own form of excellence.
Jealousy, ultimately, is our own responsibility to manage, but being honest, real and gentle in our approach when sharing, could be what causes others to pursue their own excellence, and wouldn't we rather encourage dreams than squash them?