"But why didn't Jesus heal her"

I love the inquisitive minds of children. I've read many blogs on how to handle the situation well but it's never after just reading some research material that my child decides to grace me with a tough question. No, it's right in the middle of Costco surrounded by people trying to eat their hot dogs in peace wondering why both the little girl and the Mummy (and the Dad too, but don't tell Lee) were all blubbing over why Jesus chooses to heal certain people and not others.

I thought I had a few years to mull over these great questions in life so that when Annie started asking them I'd be full of wisdom and theological doctrine, but she's throwing me in now and in truth, I have no idea why certain things are the way they are. Just because someone is a Christian doesn't mean we understand everything and have all the answers. Trying to explain that to a child, in the middle of Costco, whilst trying to make sure that Joel didn't run off and Adelais didn't fall out of her high chair all at the same time was no easy feat.

I can't really remember exactly what I said, but I remember crying and saying, "I don't know, it's really sad" a lot. I don't think I needed to have the answers in that moment. I just needed to sit with Annie in her sadness and say, "But I still trust Him". 

It doesn't really matter whether you have a religion or not, the fact is our kids are gonna ask us some really difficult questions and we're gonna be more than a little stumped. Not science-y, academic questions, but questions about why life is the way that it is. "Life's not fair" was a motto that stuck with me from my childhood as my Mum didn't necessarily just pour out answers and instead taught me that sometimes things just aren't 'fair', people aren't 'fair', life's not 'fair'. It was highly valuable.

I don't even have the answers now. I can't think of some amazing wisdom from all of this and write some explanation down of what we should be saying or doing with our children to help them understand life in all it's fullness. There's no epiphany that has come other than the knowledge that it's okay not to know it all. It's okay to be with your child in their confusion and their questioning and say, "I feel ya girl, I think the same thing".

As Annie grows up and starts questioning everything (and I really mean, EVERYTHING - she's just gonna be that kind of child, eh?), I want her to know that I barely have the answers and I'm bumbling along in this life too. I don't want her expectation of being a grown up to be somebody that knows it all and has it all together because what grown up really does? I want her to see a bit of my own journey in trying to find answers and learning contentedness when I don't get them. I want to be the perfect example for her - not because I have it all together, but because I unequivocally don't.


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