Don't wait to be asked

Last week we were on death's door (okay, mild exaggeration but let's go with it). All 5 off us came down with flu and with Joel battling a chest infection at the same time (bloomin' poor lungs from my Dad's side there - thanks Dad) it was a pretty rough week. We were in hospital twice, basically spent the entire week lying infront of the TV and were feeling pretty sorry for ourselves.

We're in our first week out of the other side and, looking back, I'm incredibly grateful for a few people who banged the door down to help out. We were flooded with messages from people saying, "If there's anything I can help with then let me know", and it was super helpful just to know that people were thinking and praying for us, but what really impressed on me was those who turned up and just got on with stuff.

Our best friend Claire came over with wine, flowers and chocolate, saw the mess of the kitchen and just got on with doing the dishwasher. She proceeded to tell me that the next day she would bring lunch and, true to her word, she came, she cooked and she massively blessed us. Our neighbours popped in every night to make sure we were okay and then took our bank cards and did our shopping run for us. Vicky came for coffee to keep me company and when Annie puked all over her just got on with cleaning her up, getting her cooled down and comforting her.

A few simple people just getting on with being family to us meant that the pressure was off. I love it when people ask me if there is anything they can help with - it let's me know who's around to support and love on us when we need - but sometimes I can't even begin to think about what I need. Sometimes I just want someone to come and take the decision away from me and look after it all.

It's totally changed my perspective on how I approach other's needs. Often I find myself writing "if there's anything I can do..." knowing deep down that they probably won't let me know so I'll be 'safe'. Sometimes, to actually be the support that people need we just need to show up. Take a dinner round, clean their house, fill the car with petrol, gift flowers and chocolate and wine. Don't wait to be asked.

And if someone gets offended because you just turned up?

It's pretty rare. I'd take the risk.


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